Dynamic Energetic

There is a certain relationship I strive to integrate into my everyday life with the food I eat, the words I speak, how I interact with my houseplants, my kitties and most recently my own body.  I also use this same kind of discrimination in my world at large and delineate what I accept and choose based on how my body, mind and senses respond in order to maintain balance in my own delicate physiological system. 

My relationship with friends, family, teachers, coworkers and even students in my class are treated with the same conscious consideration.  When I look back on the past and all of my performing and bending to others’ will, without consideration for my Self or my health or sanity, I am refreshingly aware that choices I make now are not only for me, but respectful of the subtleties of the dynamic and energetic exchange between souls, spirit.

As I become more refined within my own boundaries, now that I am acquainted with what those are and what they mean to a healthy being, my communication and negotiation with others morphs and either bonds on a deeper level or falls away.  I am no longer devastated by some preconceived interpretation of what the story may become.  I trust myself solely and create relationship connection with others based on respect in action, or not.  I take no prisoners.

This is a new Energetic Dynamic for me in my life.  I have always believed friends and loved ones are supposed to rely on one another for laughter, for healing, for help no matter what form it takes:  emotional, financial, spiritual or otherwise. What I have discovered is that I was not only way off target, but that until I accepted that I alone am responsible for my health and well being and how others treat and interact with me I was never going to be able to access my capacity for love, stability and mental health.

The one thing that has changed for me in this knowledge passing through to my core from some unreachable abstract is not that I didn’t know it already, because I’ve read it and preached it and had it expressed to me in every fashion imaginable, but that I made the choice to detach myself from anyone and everything that causes disruption within my physical body and hyper sensitive sensory system.  I am an intuitive creature, and through bending and performing for so many years I was able to disregard my own senses in order to keep what I thought I needed alive.

This is no news to many people.  This is no news to me, but as I move into a healing teaching profession I am more acutely aware of this dynamism and more in tune with it as a reality that cannot be ignored.  My habit, because it is familiar, even comfortable, is to disregard a disruptive Dynamic Energetic of exchange at the possibility of a new love or opportunity entering my sphere of influence.  To my own peril.  This is also what I diligently remind my brain to remove from it’s Rolodex and the kind of experience I hope to imprint energetically with students that I teach.

I now have the kind of relationship I have always dreamed of filled with love and intimacy, a solid foundation of protection and attentiveness, a level of communication and understanding I’ve never known before and a great sense of wonder fulfilled at any time I choose.  I take it with me everywhere I go.  I am a Dynamic Energetic Being.