Light body splitting armor blending Earth bound

Wet sand under toes, curling waves inching toward feet, planted.  Groups of Pelican in South formation, sand crabs settled in after the tide, fingertips reaching out extending from the waist up to the sky, exhale Ocean sound.  Bending forward as if to bow swaddled in damp breath of clouds wake as they follow the Sun's arc across the sky where it dips behind the point in a wink.  Fierce wheels knee to hip, four points strong heel to brow, palms released bolt of arrow,  wings tucked along the cage of the heart, gaze lifted lung to atlas, chin poised in salute.

Om Na Mah Shi Va Ya

Yacon Cheesecake

First I will say, in my opinion, Yacon and Cheesecake do not mix!  This is the sweetener I used for my cheesecake recipe Friday evening.  There I was measuring 1 ½ cups of “sugar”,  Organic Vegan Peruvian Yacon, into the mixing bowl with 2 ½ pounds of organic bar Neufchatel Cream Cheese.  That was the moment I realized it was not going to work.  The mix looked as if it was curdling before my eyes.  With each turn of my spoon it binded much like oil and water.

It was 9:00p.m. on a Friday night.  I didn’t have time or energy to rush out and drive back to Rainbow Acres or Whole Foods to buy all the ingredients again and start over.  So I went through the process and completed an exercise in futility.  I could have cried.  What conflict!  Do I choose to pour it down the sink right now or do I continue stirring and actually see what happens when I take it out of the oven?

Liquid Brown Rice sweetener was requested but it was not available at the store where I was shopping.  My choices on the shelf were Agave and Yacon, and because I don’t like the flavor of Agave I grabbed the Yacon.  What I have learned from this experience is that I will continue making cheesecake the way I originally did so.  My raw vegan organic friend, I love you, but if you want me to bring cheesecake to your birthdays and Yom Kippur breaking the fast dinners you will have to eat Xylitol.

Imagine my horror watching this bowl of lemony flavored brown molasses muck created with all the love in my heart pouring into my beautifully baked Graham Cracker crust and put into the oven to bake while I moved furniture around my room.  I surrendered myself to the idea that it was not going to be perfect, and in fact, was going to be my biggest failure in the kitchen to date.  My sense of duty carried that cake all the way to the birthday party with me Saturday night where I refused to serve it to anyone.  I even took it home with me to throw it in the trash.

My saving grace in all this is that I know the ingredients we put into our efforts do not alter the genuine spirit of the gift of giving.  My friend probably still loves me, and even though I did not meet either of our expectations I am satisfied, and content.  I see cheesecake in my future. 

Dynamic Energetic

There is a certain relationship I strive to integrate into my everyday life with the food I eat, the words I speak, how I interact with my houseplants, my kitties and most recently my own body.  I also use this same kind of discrimination in my world at large and delineate what I accept and choose based on how my body, mind and senses respond in order to maintain balance in my own delicate physiological system. 

My relationship with friends, family, teachers, coworkers and even students in my class are treated with the same conscious consideration.  When I look back on the past and all of my performing and bending to others’ will, without consideration for my Self or my health or sanity, I am refreshingly aware that choices I make now are not only for me, but respectful of the subtleties of the dynamic and energetic exchange between souls, spirit.

As I become more refined within my own boundaries, now that I am acquainted with what those are and what they mean to a healthy being, my communication and negotiation with others morphs and either bonds on a deeper level or falls away.  I am no longer devastated by some preconceived interpretation of what the story may become.  I trust myself solely and create relationship connection with others based on respect in action, or not.  I take no prisoners.

This is a new Energetic Dynamic for me in my life.  I have always believed friends and loved ones are supposed to rely on one another for laughter, for healing, for help no matter what form it takes:  emotional, financial, spiritual or otherwise. What I have discovered is that I was not only way off target, but that until I accepted that I alone am responsible for my health and well being and how others treat and interact with me I was never going to be able to access my capacity for love, stability and mental health.

The one thing that has changed for me in this knowledge passing through to my core from some unreachable abstract is not that I didn’t know it already, because I’ve read it and preached it and had it expressed to me in every fashion imaginable, but that I made the choice to detach myself from anyone and everything that causes disruption within my physical body and hyper sensitive sensory system.  I am an intuitive creature, and through bending and performing for so many years I was able to disregard my own senses in order to keep what I thought I needed alive.

This is no news to many people.  This is no news to me, but as I move into a healing teaching profession I am more acutely aware of this dynamism and more in tune with it as a reality that cannot be ignored.  My habit, because it is familiar, even comfortable, is to disregard a disruptive Dynamic Energetic of exchange at the possibility of a new love or opportunity entering my sphere of influence.  To my own peril.  This is also what I diligently remind my brain to remove from it’s Rolodex and the kind of experience I hope to imprint energetically with students that I teach.

I now have the kind of relationship I have always dreamed of filled with love and intimacy, a solid foundation of protection and attentiveness, a level of communication and understanding I’ve never known before and a great sense of wonder fulfilled at any time I choose.  I take it with me everywhere I go.  I am a Dynamic Energetic Being.